Ryan Hates This

I'm the community moderator for Buzzfeed and when I'm not doing that I do sketches for Student Loans For Beer Money and when I'm not doing that I run a softcore pornography zine for people who wear fox costumes. Here's a site with all kinds of stuff on it about me.
~ Thursday, February 23 ~
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Always be courteous to the waiter because she’ll be watching and hearing everything you do. Tip a minimum of 20% no matter what the service was like. If you had bad service, say something like, “You know what? The service was horrible but he/she’s probably a student working his/her way through school. I’m gonna tip him/her 20% anyway.” If it’s a middle aged man, say, “He/she has a family to take care of.” If it’s an elderly person, say, “I hope when I’m that old I don’t have to work, gotta respect the elderly so I’m gonna tip him/her 20% anyway.” She’ll be watching this to see if you’ll be a good father or can see another person’s perspective. I don’t give a damn if you never tip when you’re on a date…ALWAYS tip 20% or more. It MAY just get you laid.

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